Two Passages that Give me Comfort

Galatians 6

Doing Good to All

 ¹ Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. ⁴ Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, ⁵ for each one should carry their own load. ⁶ Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.

 ⁷ Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. ⁸ Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

This passage has become one of my favorites over the passed few months.  It gives me comfort when I think my actions and efforts in my ministry are futile and not appreciated.  It has also comforted me when I feel I can’t carry on, because usually in those times a good friend comes to the rescue and gives me the encouragement I need, and all I can say is Thank you to God.  For he always knows when my spirit is weary and He reminds me that my work for his kingdom is good work and that it matters to him, that I am important to Him.  Verses 9-10 are my theme as I think I am either too tired or too pregnant to do all the things that I want to. 

I know that my life is not my own and that the time that I spend in doing the things for the Lord, my harvest will one day be great.  And even when I think the kids on Wednesday nights can’t scream louder and they always do, I think back to this verse and many others for the drive to continue to offer a safe environment for them.  Surprisingly enough after each session of 10-12 weeks, I find that the process of running the program and implementing each night becomes smoother and smoother.  I know this is God’s hand, we as the leaders were faithful and didn’t throw in the towel, so God is faithful as always.  I will be sad when April comes, I have to say good bye to the kids and the program for awhile.  It is for good reason, and even in my joy of becoming a mommy and teaching a new child in the ways of the Lord, I will miss my Wednesday nights kids.

Luke 12

Do Not Worry

 ²² Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. ²³ For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. ²⁴ Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵ Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life^[b]? ²⁶ Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

I often worry.  I know, I shouldn’t and have probably written on this subject many times before.  I worry more and more now that I am getting closer and closer to becoming a mom (11weeks and 2 days, but who is counting).  I worry that there will be something wrong with my child or that I will be terrible at breastfeeding or a million other things.  The passage above calms my fears, because Jesus was right (as always), I cannot add a single hour to my life by worrying.  Instead, now I pray harder than I think I ever have.  I pray for the health, happiness, and safety of my child, I pray for the adjustment period our family is about to embark on, I pray that God will have his hand on every thing that happens, and that He will be my shelter and shoulder to lean on.

All my life I wanted what was normal, but then I ask myself what is normal? Normal by the world’s standards has never given me the comfort and security that I have sought.  It is only the narrow that Jesus laid out that has given me comfort and security in life. When I have been on the path less traveled by, the one not easily taken has been when my life has been the most satisfying and rewarding.  I will cling to this as I embark on motherhood and try to embrace all the new challenges, fears, and worries that come with it.  For, I trust that my God is faithful and he always comes through even if I can’t always see it right away.

Just this past week, I was so worried about a particular situation that I couldn’t sleep.  I tossed and turned and for me right now that is very uncomfortable.  All my friends said not to worry or lose sleep, but I couldn’t help it.  I prayed with all my might that God would take the situation, and you know what.  He DID!  The next day it seemed everything had worked out without me, God had paved the way for my anxiety to go away.  I believe it was his subtle way of telling me “Just trust in me.”

I can’t say that I will stop worrying completely but I am striving to learn this principle and apply it.  You are probably thinking that this is the worst time to implement something so hard, when your worries are going to increase 100fold soon.  But, I look at it as God’s way for preparing me for motherhood and to chill me out, so I can enjoy the experience and not worry the time away and miss it.

The Love Day

Today is Valentine's Day or to single people looking for that special someone "Singles Awareness Day."

I used to be one of those single people that dreaded Valentine's Day, because I always felt lonely or left out.  I thought that if I met my sweety right then those days would be behind me, and I would get what all those chick flicks talk about.  Well, I have news for you, when I got married I still was without a Valentine on the love day.  My husband travels and it seems like every year he has to be gone on Valentine's day.  Now, I know that he is still my Valentine, and I love him dearly, plus we don't really do the stereotypical Valentine's plans anyway.  But all my single days, I thought I was going to get this fairy tale, story book, Valentine's day, and I didn't.  I got something better.

Better, you say, is a relative term and if you wanted the "storybook" deal why are you writing this, you ask.  Well I will tell you.  The storybook romance isn't real.  It is, in part, in the beginning of a relationship when you still wear makeup everywhere because you want him to think you naturally look like that all the time.  But, relationships are work, HARD WORK.  Not work that is bad, but work that is rewarding, and fulfilling, and worth it if the other person works just as hard as you.

Our pastor delivered a message on Sunday about Love, and sharing love with everyone on Valentine's Day.  God's love.  I believe that my Love Days are special because we don't just make grand gestures on specials days like Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, Birthdays, etc. We try to make every day special.  We do this because we love each other, and we love God.  God loves us every day, so we love each other every day.  Therefore, on random days, we do special things for one another.  The hubby buys me just cause presents, like the other day.  My tea strainer broke and I was very upset because I have tea leaves and it is hard to drink tea with them floating to the top of your mug.  He brought one home because he knew I needed a new one, so now every time I have a cup of tea, I think about my honey bunny.  Or me...I do the majority of the grocery shopping, and sometimes when I feel he needs a pick me up, I will buy him a surprise at the store, something that he likes, but I don't normally buy.  Example: those frosted sugar cookies with the colored icing.  Those cookies make my teeth hurt just looking at them, but he enjoys them.  I don't like him to have them very often because they are really bad for you, but sometimes you just have to let them enjoy!

Here are a few verses of what God says about love:

1 John 4:7
[ God’s Love and Ours ] Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:21
And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

John 13:34
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
1 Peter 1:22
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.
These are just a few verses of so many that our creator speaks about love.  I can't even say that I up hold one of these truths all the time.  So instead of focusing on what we don't get for Valentine's day or what our Valentine's day isn't, I am going to try to love like these verses and so many others teach.

I want to love my husband, and my future child as much as God loves us. God commands that we love.  Love isn't a bad thing, it is something to devote oneself too.  God loved us first, so we can love...that kind of love is amazing.  To be loved by another human like that is a great thing.  That is what I want to strive for this Valentine's day, to love like Christ Loved! (He loved with his very life).

Worries!

I find myself constantly having panic attacks these days.  I have read in my pregnancy books that this is a common thing, but didn't think it would happen to me.  The hubs thinks that I am freaking out for nothing, and it is hard to explain to him my fears.

My first fear was that I wasn't really pregnant but just getting super fat; almost as if I had a giant tumor growing in my abdomen.  Here is the point where my mother would give me a dirty look and say not to call her grand baby that, but I really felt this way.  I was super excited on my first and second ultrasound to see the critter as I call him, look like he should.  So first fear subsided but didn't go away totally.  It just went into the back of my brain replaced by fear number 2.

Fear number 2 was that my baby would be damaged because of my job.  I am a research chemist, and have taken all kinds of precautionary measures to guard myself and baby.  But then you hear the stories.  Stories about how they knew someone with my job and their kid got autism...great I think because not only do I have that job, but I am having a boy.  And boys are 4 times more likely than girls to get it.  I rationalize to myself that autism doesn't run in my family, but then the fear of they don't know what causes autism creeps up.  So now every time I do something in the lab at work, I pray God keep my baby safe.  Again the hubby thinks I have lost it and that baby boy will be just fine, but I can't help the panic attacks.

Fear number 3 was that my life is going to change and I am going to have no friends and no life.  Besides the fact that I think that my baby is going to have a disability, I think that I am going to be trapped at home with no relief.  People have even questioned my decsion to come back to work and put my kid in daycare.  They say "You aren't going to want to leave that baby" or "You won't be doing that once the baby comes."  Come on people give me a break...I already think those things.  I don't need to be reminded.  I second guess every decsion we have made regarding junior here.  Even though we have picked and have a spot at one of the best daycares in the city, I still ask the hubsand if we made the right choice.  I just think that if I were to be a stay at home mom, I woud feel trapped and resentful.  Now, I am glad I have the option if I change my mind, and I am glad that their are people out there that choose that and succeed.  I just don't see myself as one of them.

Fear number 4 was fear of being a terrible mother.  I have these wonderful ideas of parenting, but I wonder if they are wonderful or harmful.  They line up with parenting books ideas, and it isn't like I haven't been around kids, taught kids, and run kids programs.  But, I don't want to screw up my kids life.  To that people say "It doesn't matter you are going to anyway." Well thanks, that sort of gives me the confidence booster I need.  I am grateful for those who tell me I am going to be a great mom, but I really want to ask them how they know.  Because I don't???  I want to be a fun mommy who cares, is there for and supports my child.

Probably my biggest fear of them all is Fear number 5.  The fear of losing control.  I know right, me a control freak, who would have guessed that?  It was hard when I gave my control of my life to God, but that was the greatest decision I ever made.  Granted it was well after I had accepted Christ, I just had to be reminded that my life is not my own.  The question remains, can I do the same when it comes to my child?  Can I give God the control and seek his wisdom and listen and do what he speaks?  I worry that I won't be able to, and that my child will suffer because I didn't listen, I didn't obey, and I didn't have enough faith.

I find comfort from these:

Psalm 68:19
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Thirst

Being that I am now 22 1/2 weeks pregnant, I find myself thirsty all the time.  I feel that I can't possibly drink any more water and yet I am so thirsty.  I wake up thirsty and I am thirsty before bed even after I drink a whole glass of water (which btw doesn't help the having to pee every five minutes thing).

To try and solve this dilemma, I carry around my handy water bottle that doesn't look so good these days.  I have abused it and it maybe time to trade it in for a new model.  As I sit at my desk today, I am was reminded that we will always be thirsty, our thirst will never be sated.  God says something about this....

John 4: 13-14
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

This is a comfort to know that God is a provider not just for hunger and thirst, but in all things.  He has given me and my hubby so much this past year.  It is easy to focus on all the negative things around us that try to drag us down into despair, but our hope has remained in the Lord.

Psalm 33:18
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

We have been so blessed this year by the Lord, that I feel some what guilty in my last post.  I was so wrapped up in hurt and despair by mean words that I have forgotten all the blessings we have had.

We thank God for the joys, blessings, and rewards he has provided...without him we would have fallen into despair and ruin.

God Blessed us with good friends, who were their in our time of need, sorrow, joy, and triumph.

God Blessed us with provisions, God never fails to provide and he continues to provide for us.

God Blessed us with hope, even in times of tragedy, he gave us hope that trouble times would pass and suffering wasn't permanent, but a life lesson to help others around us.

God Blessed us with love and companionship; through our struggles and times of joy, this was a learning year as a couple.  We learned that as we leaned on God, we showed us how to lean on each other for support, wisdom, and comfort.  As a couple we grew so much and learned so much about one another, that our marriage is now stronger (we still have a long way to go though folks).

God Blessed us with family; we love our families through the good and the bad.  Even if we seem far and distant, we pray constantly for each members' safety, and life.  God blessed us with family of our own even when I thought stress and sorrow would make that miracle an impossibility.  (See pregnancy comment above).

These are the treasures I want to remind myself of from 2011 not the bad.  I know the bad stuff is the juicy drama that feeds gossip and conversations, and I find myself somewhat guilty of falling into the trap.  It is the blessings that people often forget in times of sorrow, strife, and suffering, but regardless of all that has happened and will, my goal besides the one previously mentioned in the last post, is to focus on what God has done because God is Good ALL THE TIME.

Happy 2012

I know it has been an awfully long time since I have had any words to share with you.  2011 was a year of tragedy in my life, although, it was not without its miracles either.

Below is a brief recap of the happening of 2011:

Tragedy struck with my father passing away leaving his family grieving and sad, but happy that he finally was without pain and home with his savior.

Tragedy struck with the hubby's family, when his parents decided to get a divorce, and all the hurt that spread through the family as a result.  We just pray daily that healing will come and hurtful feelings and words can be mended.

Tragedy almost struck with potential job loss, but God was ever faithful and bringing us through and blessing us further with promotions and opportunities to further his glory in our volunteer efforts.

Blessings struck when we found out we were going to be parents.  As scary and terrified as we are, we know that God has his hand on our son and it has been wonderful to watch his growth or should I say my belly growth.

Blessings struck when even though our best friends moved away, we still have remained close and I believe have a stronger relationship with them than ever before.

I haven't written before now because I was at a loss of what to say and write.  It seemed like daily there was some new drama or hurt that came into our lives.  I reflected on the words of my earthly daddy "if you didn't have anything nice to say you shouldn't say anything at all" or the words of my heavenly father from Proverbs 20:25 "It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vows. "  So, I was silent and prayed.  I prayed for resolutions, healing, and that God's glory would come, and I am still praying.

As I entered 2012, I had hope that the new year would be different, that forgiveness would be the goal.  I have forgiven, I am working hard to forget.  I pray daily for my heart to forget the words that have broken it.  It came to me on one of these mornings the old children's poem....

Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words can never hurt me.

I now know that whoever penned this was either deaf or blind, because words do hurt.  They hurt to the core of a person, and no matter how hard you try; sometimes they still ring in your ears. God had a little something to say about this in Proverbs 12:18

The words of the reckless pierce like swords,
   but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

This made me smile, because I have had encouraging words throughout 2011 and even as we entered 2012.  Family (church and blood), friends, and even colleagues at work, had cheerful words to help me along.  I am forever grateful for these words and have hid them in my heart as treasures. These encouragements have mended parts of my broken heart.

I am no saint, something you might be thinking at this point.  I have wanted to lash out, and be mean.  More than once I almost let the mean girl inside of me out of her box I keep locked deep down inside. But, I couldn't! So close was I to writing, saying, and texting mean things because I was wounded and hurt. The only thing that stopped me was the gentle spirit of God.  I didn't know the words just a feeling that lashing out was wrong.  I searched God's word and found the following:

Proverbs 10:10
Whoever winks maliciously causes grief,
   and a chattering fool comes to ruin.

I didn't want to be a chattering fool and cause ruin.  I wanted to be uplifting because I needed to be uplifted.

Romans 12:19
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
God did not dethrone and say here Ashley, I give you the reins.  He told me to be his faithful servant, therefore, I couldn't not take revenge, for that would be taking what is the Lords.  And even if for one brief moment I would gain some satisfaction, I do NOT want the wrath of God after me for taking what is his.  My God has perfect aim and is perfect, I do NOT want an enemy that can never fail. 

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
I learned that the Lord is the great Shepherd and he guides us along.  He did not promise the road would be easy or without suffering, but he did promise that he would be with us and never leave us. He would comfort us along the way.  My hope is in the Lord, he is my comfort.  There is a great song that sings praises to this, this is the song of my heart when I feel lonely and hurt.  No matter how dark and crazy the situations turn, my God will never leave me, he walks through with me.

For now, I choose to forgive and I choose to work towards forgetting.  I can't say the road is easy or that I haven't had sleepless nights where I have prayed or thought of mean retorts, but I can say that God has stayed my mouth.  He has taught me over the last several years, that once words are spoken they can never be taken back no matter how many "I'm sorrys" follow.  There is so much suffering out in the world, my goal is for this new year, not to add to the suffering with words that aren't holy and uplifting.  I will leave you with this final thought.

Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies [the mouth is part of the body] as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

Psalm 4

    For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of David.

 ¹ Answer me when I call to you,
   my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
   have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
 ² How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
   How long will you love delusions and seek false gods^[b]?^[c]
3 Know that the LORD has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
   the LORD hears when I call to him.
 ⁴ Tremble and^[d] do not sin;
   when you are on your beds,
   search your hearts and be silent.
⁵ Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
   and trust in the LORD.
 ⁶ Many, LORD, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
   Let the light of your face shine on us.
⁷ Fill my heart with joy
   when their grain and new wine abound.
 ⁸ In peace I will lie down and sleep,
   for you alone, LORD,
   make me dwell in safety.

After reading this “song,” it made me think of another more contemporary song that has similar truths, Jeremy Camp’s Understand.

http://cifraclub.terra.com/jeremy-camp/understand/

This gave me comfort, because I know the Lord hears the cries of my broken heart and understands all things when I cannot.  He is the Lord who brings prosperity and joy, and He is the Lord that comforts during times of suffering and pain.  Even though I fail, He never fails me.

Psalm 3

A psalm of David. When he fled from his son Absalom.

 ¹ LORD, how many are my foes!
   How many rise up against me!
² Many are saying of me,
   “God will not deliver him.”^[b]
 3 But you, LORD, are a shield around me,
   my glory, the One who lifts my head high.
⁴ I call out to the LORD,
   and he answers me from his holy mountain.
 ⁵ I lie down and sleep;
   I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.
⁶ I will not fear though tens of thousands
   assail me on every side.
 ⁷ Arise, LORD!
   Deliver me, my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
   break the teeth of the wicked.
 ⁸ From the LORD comes deliverance.
   May your blessing be on your people.

If my son was pursuing me with death and destruction, not sure if I would be able to write something like this. I would probably want to smite them...but then David was a man after God's own heart, and I am still working on being a woman after God's heart.