Psalm 2

 ¹ Why do the nations conspire^[a]
   and the peoples plot in vain?
² The kings of the earth rise up
   and the rulers band together
   against the LORD and against his anointed, saying,
³ “Let us break their chains
   and throw off their shackles.”

 ⁴ The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
   the Lord scoffs at them.
⁵ He rebukes them in his anger
   and terrifies them in his wrath, saying,
⁶ “I have installed my king
   on Zion, my holy mountain.”
 ⁷ I will proclaim the LORD’s decree:
   He said to me, “You are my son;
   today I have become your father.
⁸ Ask me,
   and I will make the nations your inheritance,
   the ends of the earth your possession.
⁹ You will break them with a rod of iron^[b];
   you will dash them to pieces like pottery.”
 ¹⁰ Therefore, you kings, be wise;
   be warned, you rulers of the earth.
¹¹ Serve the LORD with fear
   and celebrate his rule with trembling.
¹² Kiss his son, or he will be angry
   and your way will lead to your destruction,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
   Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

Wow this is power stuff.  Makes you think about the world today, and hope and pray that our nation heeds the word of God. I know God will not forget his people, but I am scared that our nation will become so PC that we will be a nation that believes in nothing.  I am for freedom of choice because God gave us free will and I would never want to take someone’s free will from them.  It is our calling as children of God to spread the Good News and disciple people in God’s word.  First, it has to be their choice to accept the Free Gift. I am getting really tired of all the media reports saying one thing or another is the right way and to Heck with anyone else’s point of view.  I am also sick and tired of people lumping all Christians in with the fanatics that give us a bad name.  I believe in the first amendment, all of the first amendment.  If you truly believe and want that freedom of speech you must accept and fight for the person who shouts on the street corner opposite you saying words you morally oppose. To quote one of my favorite movies The American President:  "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours.”

The writers of that film got it right, it is okay to disagree, but to spew hate because you believe something else and not allow others to have a point of view or allow them an outlet to express it, is what our forefathers ran from in the first place.  I truly believe most American’s do not understand what our freedoms are and yes you can say it is your freedom to say something, but it is someone’s freedom to say the opposite.  We are not talking about what is morally or ethically right or values in manners that should guide all our tongues, but what is an American right.  For now I speak my mind and vote the way I choose based on my research and my reflection (okay I go to God for the reflection part, again my right, free exercise of religion).

I serve the one true God, and by doing so I am going to help the poor, help the needy, put others first, and treat others with respect.  If all those things sound horrible to you, then I don’t know what planet you live one, and worry about your sanity.  Note I didn’t say I would beat you over the head with my Bible.  If you want to know about my faith or what I believe, ask.  I will talk openly and freely about what I believe (my right) and let you know what it has done for me.  I will not overwhelm you with it or talk to you about it if you have expressed to me that you do not want to hear it (your right).  I would kindly ask the same in return. 

Psalm 1

Psalm 1:

 ¹ Blessed is the one
   who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
   or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
   and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
   which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
   whatever they do prospers.

 ⁴ Not so the wicked!
   They are like chaff
   that the wind blows away.
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
   nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
 ⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
   but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

It has been on my heart for some time to read a Psalm a day.  I don't know why this is so, but even in preparing lesson's for my 2yr. old class, I find myself coming back to the Psalms.  My heart is hurting and has been for several weeks now.  I need to figure out the hurt and be able to express it.

My birthday was last Tuesday, yup I am 29! The weird part is I was not excited about this birthday as I have about all other birthdays.  Normally, I can't sleep the night before with anticipation of my big day; even as an adult I get excited.  This year I was not excited when I woke that day, I wasn't excited when my dear husband wished me well, and was not me on that day.  I didn't really want people to know that it was my birthday.  The hardest part was opening the card my mom sent.  I thoroughly appreciated the card and the gift, but the card was just from her.  It didn't say love mom and dad, it just said, love mom.  Love mom means the world to me, don't get me wrong, I love my mom and am glad she is my mother. But my dad always picked out my cards.  He took his time and always seemed to pick out the right one for that year.  I cried when I opened it because he was missing.  I think that is why I wasn't excited, he was missing, so how could I be excited?

My husband out did himself in the gift he gave, a weekend to be pampered and told that I was loved.  And nothing could take away the wonderful time I had at Starr Pass with him. But I would have traded all that pleasure and enjoyment for one more day with my dad.  And that makes me feel awful and wicked, that  I would trade the wonderful time with my husband, the man God gave to me, because He knew I would need him. 

My prayer today as I read the above Psalm...Lord lead me to the path of the righteous and keep me from my wicked thoughts.  Help me delight in the memories and look forward to the future you have in store. Lord, please watch over me because I will fail on my own. Keep me from my gossiping ways and help me to be strong in your law, which is truth and right!

Bad Teacher

So if you didn't know this past weekend, I drove with my friend to Houston where she and her husband are moving.  I am super sad that I lost one of my besties in Tucson, but happy for them in their pursuit of better job opportunities.  I am happy that they moved to a big city that is easy to get to by plane so now I have a bestie in TX.

After driving around their new city for two days it was time to say goodbye, but before they took me to the airport we went to see a movie.  Bad Teacher.  Okay so not the most award winning of all films, and most of the themes of this movie remind of what is wrong with America, but still funny in the incredibly sad really this is what our culture has come too kind of way.  The one thing this movie did rekindle in me, the love of teaching.  If America's youth are subjected to what this movie portrayed in any way, maybe it is time for a career change.

I sometimes feel that America's teens are only interested in smart phones, texting, and whatever new thing the media says is cool and up-incoming.  But I don't necessarily think that is different from what I grew up with, I just think the media has new ways of getting to these youth.  Lets face it, when I was in high school, you were cool if you had a pager and spent hours downloading and ciphering the messages, you know the first texts.

I think school has become some thing that teens must get through in order to have a life they feel promised by the media, like as soon as you turn 18 you are magically handed a million dollars, fast car, and a cool significant other.  Then college hits and the rude awakening happens, that you should have learned to study in high school, grades matter, and just because you are cute doesn't mean you don't get to ask "Do you want fries with that?"

From the limited exposure to teens that I have, I know of some that can't tell time unless it is a digital watch, some don't know all the months in a calendar year, let alone how to spell them correctly, and they have no concept of what a literary work is.  I find that this is wrong, I find that many of our youth's education systems are failing them. Lets put on hold the whole obesity issue and the lack of gym and extra cirriculars, what happened to learning grammar, reading novels, and learning math?  How many students can actually do percentages without a calculator?  I know many adults my own age that can't seem to grasp this so how can we except our youth to do this?  Now, I sometimes transpose numbers, especially if I am doing big sums or multiplication in my head...there is no shame in writing it down to prove it to yourself, but when you can't tell me that 10% of 20 is 2, something is wrong.

Note I have never taught in the public school system. My limited exposure to teaching was at the collegiate level while I was making my way as a lowly graduate student, but what I saw there gave me a glimpse at the high school's these newly adults haled.  I found that many of them couldn't write a complete sentence, had no idea what a comma splice or a comma was, and couldn't come up with synonyms to save their lives.  I am not the best writer, and unless I use a dictionary or spell check, my words may not be spelled correctly, but I do proof read and ask others to as well, because I don't want to churn out garbage that will reflect poorly on me.  This, however, was not taught to the students that I had, because frankly they didn't think anything was wrong with their writing.  I had a student write in their discussion section of the first lab report "This was a really neat experiment that I have never done before."  This was after I explained the purpose of this section.  This was not the worst one.

I find it odd that people aren't saying it is cool to be smart.  Let us think of the wealthiest people in the world, sure many of them were drop outs, but guess what, they worked hard,which is the smart way to go.  That is the kicker, kids these days don't want to to work hard. They think that just because they breathe and made it through a couple hurdles that they deserve these nice salaries, and don't have to put in the time and energy into it.  I know some people in my own generation that have these delusions of grandeur.  You can't expect to start out at the highest paying job, you have to put in your dues just like everyone else.  Because guess what?  You are not special, yes to God and your family and friends you are, in the working world you are just another bee.  You are replaceable; your attitude, how you conduct yourself, and reputation can all get you fired.  And you know what? No one will give you anything for free, and if they say they will, watch out because you don't want that kind of free.

Manners is another thing that went.  I look at people I work with and how they talk to one another and think when did we stop being polite?  When did rudeness become the new norm?  Just because you don't like some one or think they are wrong, doesn't give you the right to forget to say please and thank you.  Don't bark orders and become instantly rude to people because that just makes you look less intelligent and less approachable.  Lets face it intelligence and approachability are retention factors that can help you keep a job.  So by all means let us be rude and lose those qualities.  I remember when I was in school it was always Ms (Mrs.) or Mr. never hey, or just calling them by their last name.  Yeah is never okay when Yes would work better. 

If I were to run a school this is what kids would learn:
Manners, reading, writing, math, science, history, and technology.  Manners to get to you to where you need to be, reading to understand what is excepted, writing to allow you to communicate, math and science so you can evaluate and problem solve, history so you know where you came from and what not to repeat, and technology because that is what our world boils down to. Then we would do gym...because you can't sit all day!  Once you mastered those subjects, then you can add other outlets, because art appreciation and music are wonderful and should be apart of a well rounded individual.

I always questioned why in every science class I took in college we had to write a paper.  Now, I want to thank those professors that assigned that task, because if I hadn't I wouldn't know how to write a technical paper nor would I know how to construct a memo for the office.

And now I will get off my soap box! (At least for today)!

One Month

It has been one whole month without my daddy, and I still can't believe I can't pick up the phone and talk to him. I can't believe a month ago Monday we put him to rest.



Nothing prepares you for this, nothing prepares you for the knowing that there isn't one more. I remember as a kid saying one more daddy, one more! Where is my one more now?



The realization came yesterday that I have a bunch of nevers to deal with:

• I will never be daddy's little girl anymore


• I will never have another birthday card from my daddy


• I will never have another Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. with my daddy.


• My dad will never again get to help me decorate for his favorite holiday, my Christmas tree will never look the same ever.


• I will never get my dad's fried chicken, gravy, and mashed potatoes, my absolute favorite meal.


• I will never get to introduce my children to the greatest dad in the whole world.


• I will never here, I love you sweetie again (even though I hate sweetie but he was allowed, he was my dad).


• There are just too many "I nevers"

To those of you who have dad's still on earth, cherish every minute spent, every conversation discussed, and every memory making moment created.

To those of you like me, I am glad my dad is with my heavenly father watching out for me.

Here is a photo of one of the last vacations we did. The Grand Canyon

Father's Day

Father's Day or what I used to call Dad's Day because father sounded to formal.

If you haven't heard, I lost my father on June 7th. So Sunday was my first Dad's Day without him. That day I decided not to hide under the covers, but ventured out and do my normal activities on Sunday...I went to church. I didn't hide when the tears kept coming even though I hate crying in public. I stood tall because that is how I could honor my dad, tears and all.

My dad has been sick for a very long time, and the Lord called him home. We think it was a massive heart attack but we didn't have an autopsy done, because it wouldn't change the fact that he was gone. I used up all my vacation time (worth it) to spend time with my mom and sister and to help with all the stuff that comes with the loss of a close loved one.

I was touched by the love and support, prayers and sympathy we received from so many people. I was honored to hear all the wonderful stories people had about my dad. He loved to laugh, play practical jokes, and just be "nuts" as my mom always said him.

Below is the obituary that was printed about him, with picture.






Randall L. Heady, 59, of Louisville, passed away suddenly on June 7, 2011 at Sts. Mary and Elizabeth Hospital. He was a retired quality assurance manager for Dawn Food Products. Randy was a member of Carlisle Avenue Baptist Church, the Gideon's, did delivery for Meal On Wheels, and worked for the Arch L. Heady & Sons Funeral Homes.

Let to cherish his memory are his loving wife of 32 years, Kay Clark Heady; daughters Amber Heady Smith (Andrew), Ashley Heady Bulldis (Brandon); brother, Calvin L. Heady (Janice); sister, Kathy Heady Clark (Richard) and numerous other extend family and friends.

His Celebration of Life Service will be on Saturday, June 11, 2011 at 10 a.m. at the Arch L. Heady at Resthaven Chapel, 4400 Bardstown Road with interment in Louisville Memorial Gardens West. A gathering of family and friends will be on Friday from 12-8 at the funeral home.

Anyone that knew Randy will always remember his infectious smile, his laughter, his always being there to lend a helping hand, and warm hear. He will be greatly missed.

(You can visit the Funeral home website to view this, the guest book, and slide show. http://http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Randall-Heady&lc=2356&pid=151675422&mid=4701372&locale=en_US).

This was a nice tribute. And so were all the kind words spoken about my dad at the visitation and service. I believe the only negative thing said about my daddy was that he ate snickers bars when he wasn't supposed to. I will miss him greatly.

The following is a letter I wrote and had my parent's pastor read at the service. I knew I needed to say something about the man who shaped my life, but knew I couldn't be the one to actually read the words because I wouldn't have been able to choke them out.

First I want to express great appreciation for all the kind words, love, and support my family and I have received from everyone. It has meant the world to us to hear every one's stories and funny moments they shared with my father. Wow that sounds so formal...my dad.

I have so many stories and memories that shuffling through them has brought smiles and tears to me, and I would like to share some of my favorite with you. My dad had as you know a wonderful sense of humor, which I am glad that he passed on to me. Some of those pearls of "wisdom" that he said over the years included:

When I was a little kid looking through family photos, dad joked that he never wanted kids, I then pointed out "How come mom isn't in any of these?" And sure enough most of my baby pictures, dad has a grin plastered on his face and holding both of us, one in each arm.

I was a clumsy kid, I fell down a lot. Dad nicknamed me the band aid queen because band aids made me fell better about the cuts.

I know he didn't want his little girls to date, but he had special advice on "Dating"..An ugly guy with a car is 10 times better than a cute guy without one...at least the ugly guy can take you somewhere, he always said.

Many people know my dad loved practical jokes. And probably many of you here have been on the receiving end of those practical jokes. April fools day was always an interesting day in the Heady House-hold, from the "you have a big cut on your toe" to "mom burned a hole in the kitchen floor," he got us most years.

I have to thank you, dad, for all the things you (and mom) did over the years...

Thanks for all the games of matches and matches (memory), they taught me numbers and math, without it I would have never gotten where I am today.

Thank you for all the encouraging words of "Your not going to wear THAT are you?" You never would let us walk out of the house looking awful.

Thanks for all the stories at family dinners, I know my friends questioned why Heady dinners always lasted 2 hours, but those are some of the best memories I have.

Thanks for all the pep talks and brainstorming sessions. I know it broke your heart to let me go, but thank you for talking me into Arizona, because I am finally happy with the outcome.

Thank you for being a Godly influence and telling me "to never ruin my witness." That example and motto led me to Christ and back to Him, and to my husband. And Thank you for saying yes to that man you didn't know when he called you for my hand. He reminds me of you, and loves me the way you would have wanted.

And most of all daddy, thank you for being you, and always leaving us in stitches over all the crazy things you said or did. That is what I will miss most. Love you! (The printed version of this now lies in my dad's pocket so he can keep it with him).


The Celebration of Life service was nice and probably the hardest event I have ever had to attend. This beats showing up to clean out my desk after I got kicked out of grad school the first time, hands down. How do you say goodbye to some one who has been your support for 28 almost 29 years? How do you look at the body that is left and know that it is the last time you are going to see their face until you go meet Jesus yourself?

I feel (to quote Harry Potter) as if I will never be cheerful again. I can laugh, but it doesn't quite make it to my core. I know that is just the grief, but I wonder when I will ever be truly me again. Or do I become this new me that is different? And, Who does that look like?

Saddnes

I am sad, I just finished another book. I am always sad at the end of a really good book because the new friends I have found in the characters have now gone away.

This book was a story within a story and kept me puzzled until the very end, even though deep down I knew what was going to happen. I only have a couple of questions left unresolved by finishing the book, which just means I will have re-read the book to see if I missed something in my rush to find out what happened.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon is the author of this book "The Angel's Game." He also wrote my favorite book of all time, "The Shadow in the Wind." Amazing stories of mystery, love, horror, and life. I can't do these books justice if I tell you about them and ruin the moments of learning and watching a story unfold. My only hope is that you read these books for yourself. They are great reads, stories that stick with you and make you think.

I did enjoy my weekend of blissful reading even if my husband wasn't there to enjoy in the tranquility of the peace and quiet.

Where to start?

The past several weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, which is probably why I haven't written in quite sometime. I don't want to go into all the specifics of why bad things happen or why situations spiral out of control when the days started out so well.


What I want to talk about is the love I have for my husband. I look at him sometimes and shake my head especially when he tells me he didn't have time to do the dishes but played xbox for an hour, but seriously I shake my head in wonder, because I got lucky! My husband is everything my heart has wished and prayed for my whole life. He has qualities that I didn't even know were important until the past few weeks happened.


He truly is a man after God's own heart, no he is NOT perfect, but a man I trust, respect, and value. He makes me proud to be his wife.

He takes on the struggles and cares of others out love and compassion for them. He carries the burdens of his family without looking for anything in return. He studies, prays, and immerses himself in God's love and word even when people give him a hard time about it. He is a wonderful friend, and provider.

In times of sorrow and times of struggle, I am glad that God gave me a wonderful partner in life to lean on, hold hands with, and walk beside. I just hope he realizes that when people knock him down and say hurtful things to him, that I am always here to love him, to make him feel important, because he is the most important person to me!